Joke of the Day!

[ChumpChange]

One day a boy told his grandpa, "grandpa make a frog sound" The grandfather asked why? The boy said, "Grandma says when you croak we are going to Hawaii."

[Eli]

Attachment 35499


Sent from my Bat Cave

[ChumpChange]

A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.” Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police. The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “all right buddy what’s your name?” “Fred,” the cowboy moaned. “Where ya from, Fred?” asked the Ranger.. With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, “the balcony…”

[ChumpChange]

An old couple were sitting up in bed. Suddenly he starts to touch her arm, then moved down to her waist, to her hips and down her leg. Then he moved over and did the same on the other side and then stopped. Aroused by this his wife asked "Honey,why did you stop?" and he replied "Because I finally found the remote."

[riverrunner1984]

The Hookers' Union


A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said.

He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde.

"I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next!"

[ChumpChange]

Moms in Group Therapy

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, he said, "Mary, you are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom: "Ann, your obsession is with money. Again it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom: "Joyce, your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner."

And here we have our first reposted joke of the thread!

[riverrunner1984]

And here we have our first reposted joke of the thread!

My bad, I get too many of them to keep track.
I'll delete.

[Stainless]

That is hilarious 28E!


CH3NO2

[ChumpChange]

My bad, I get too many of them to keep track.
I'll delete.

lol. It was a joke. Get it! Joke of the Day thread.........

[The Doctor]

A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.

I have been tapping into your wife, day and night when you're not around.

In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse.

I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Bloody Auto Correct -meant to write Wifi not Wife.