Joke of the Day!

[ChumpChange]

An elderly couple were sitting outdoors at a cafe when they noticed an old man who seemed to be having trouble crossing the street with an ungainly shuffle. The man said to his wife "He surely has bad arthritis to walk like that." His wife replied "No, that's definitely old time rheumatism." They couldn't agree so the man decided to ask the old man. He walked over to him and said "Excuse me, sir, but my wife and I saw you having difficulty crossing the street and I told her that you have arthritis but she insisted that you have rheumatism. Which one of us was wrong?" The old man said "The three of us were wrong." "Three of us were wrong? How so?" asked the man to which the old man replied "You were wrong when you said I had arthritis and your wife was wrong when she said I had rheumatism and I was wrong when I thought I had to pass gas."

[rschap1]

[hbchgirl]

An elderly couple were sitting outdoors at a cafe when they noticed an old man who seemed to be having trouble crossing the street with an ungainly shuffle. The man said to his wife "He surely has bad arthritis to walk like that." His wife replied "No, that's definitely old time rheumatism." They couldn't agree so the man decided to ask the old man. He walked over to him and said "Excuse me, sir, but my wife and I saw you having difficulty crossing the street and I told her that you have arthritis but she insisted that you have rheumatism. Which one of us was wrong?" The old man said "The three of us were wrong." "Three of us were wrong? How so?" asked the man to which the old man replied "You were wrong when you said I had arthritis and your wife was wrong when she said I had rheumatism and I was wrong when I thought I had to pass gas."

...

[Havasu Party Bus]

A young man goes to his mother and father to share the news he has found a nice young lady to marry. After revealing who this woman is the father is angry and disapproves. The mother can not see why the boys father is so against it. A few days later the boy asked his father why he disapproves of the marriage. The father tells his son that the girl is his sister but the boys mother does not know. Feeling that he should tell his mother the boys goes and let's her know what the father has said. The mother laughs and said if you want to marry that girl you go right ahead because your father is not your father but he does not know.

[28eliminator]

Lol..


Sent from somewhere on the water

[SBS933]

Two men were drinking in a bar, the subject changed to which one had the ugliest wife. This argument went on for a couple of beers when one man said, get in my car and come with me. They ended up at the mans house and they went inside, the man proceeded to pull a carpet of a trap door. The man opened the door and yelled, HEY GIRL get up here. The wife replied ,oh let me put a bag on my head, the man replied, I don't wanna fuck you I just wanna show you off.

[ChumpChange]

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother - he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor says. The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, "DeNephew."

[Eli]

A blonde is watching the news with her boyfriend when the newscaster announces that 6 Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident. The blonde starts sobbing uncontrollably. Confused, her boyfriend says, "Baby it is sad, but they were skydiving, there were risks involved". After a few moments, the blonde, still crying, asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[rschap1]

[riverrunner1984]

A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36 Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24."