Joke of the Day!

[ChumpChange]

This deaf mute strolls into a chemist’s shop to buy a packet of condoms. Unfortunately, the mute cannot see any of his required brand on the shelves, and the chemist, unable to decipher sign language, fails to understand what the man wants. Frustrated, the deaf mute decides to take drastic action: he unzips his trousers and drops his member on the counter, before placing a $10 bill next to it. Nodding, the chemist unzips his own trousers, performs the same maneuver as the mute, then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the chemist with a wild gesturing of his arms ‘Sorry,’ the chemist says, shrugging his shoulders. ‘But if you can’t afford to lose, you shouldn't gamble.’

[Stainless]

Lmfao!

[Wendi]

The teacher asks the kids in class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Little Johnny: "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day."

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.

And you, Susie?

“I wanna be Johnny's bitch.”

[Stainless]

Lmfao

[Menace Marine]

The teacher asks the kids in class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Little Johnny: "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day."

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.

And you, Susie?

“I wanna be Johnny's bitch.”

That's hilarious.

[rschap1]

smart girl, that Susie

[The Doctor]

"Ammo Shortage"

An elderly gentleman was lucky enough to catch the sporting goods store just as the shipment came in with four boxes of his favorite ammunition. He put it on the seat of his car and drove home. On the way he stopped for gasoline and a beautiful lady at the next pump saw the ammunition on his seat. Desperately needing ammo herself, she inquired, "Would you consider trading sex for ammunition?" The elderly man thought about if for a second and inquired back "What caliber you got?"

[ChumpChange]

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee."

The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word "pee" in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper'."

The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper."

The father looked at him and said, "Okay, just whisper in my ear."

[ChumpChange]

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and, until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, her mom told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her mother saying, "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

[ChumpChange]

A man and a blonde meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The blonde angrily gets off the elevator.
The next day, the man and the blonde meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.