Joke of the Day!

[Stainless]

Lol lol!!

[ChumpChange]

A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime. They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager. As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly, "Gee, she's fat!"

The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy's ear to be quiet. A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread his hands as far as they would go and announced; "I'll bet her butt is this big!"

The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy. The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the line. Just then, her pager begin to emit a beep, beep, beep.

The little boy yells out, "Run for your life, she's backing up!!"

[The Doctor]

A guy is walking along a Florida beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.

The guy thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever."

"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."

"OK, then, I want to die after the Democrats balance the budget and eliminate the debt.

"You crafty weasel," said the genie.

[Stainless]

Good ones Mateo, Doc!

[rschap1]

Yep
VERY good
AGAIN !!!!

[Menace Marine]

What kind of bees make milk?


















Boo-bies

[BrettBayne]

Jewish man goes to see his rabbi.

"Rabbi, I have a terrible problem!" the man says. "My son converted to Christianity. What should I do?"

The rabbi ponders this. "Come back tomorrow," he tells the man. "I'll consult with God and ask for his guidance."

The man returns the next day. "Well?"

"God can't help you," the rabbi says. "He says he has the same problem that you have."

[ChumpChange]

A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live."

The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"

The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant."

"Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient.

"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."

[HB Vic]

Lol.....

[The Doctor]

A balding, white haired man from Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful, much younger, gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, ‘No, I’d like to see something a little more special.’
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it.’
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, ‘By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.’
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said, ‘There’s no money in that account.’
‘I know,’ said the old man, ‘But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!’