Joke of the Day!

[ChumpChange]

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.
Doctor: "What happened?"
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps.

[ChumpChange]

I hate it when old people poke me at wedding and say "You're next!" * So I have started doing the same thing at funerals.

[Stainless]

I hate it when old people poke me at wedding and say "You're next!" * So I have started doing the same thing at funerals.

Laugh my fucking ass off, that was good!!


CH3NO2

[ChumpChange]

If I ever go missing I want my picture on a 40 oz. beer can instead of a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me.

[Stainless]

If I ever go missing I want my picture on a 40 oz. beer can instead of a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me.

:p


CH3NO2

[riverrunner1984]

A blond woman goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor.

"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina."

The Doctor had a look, chuckled and said, "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're
the stickers off the bananas!"

[Stainless]

A blond woman goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor.

"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina."

The Doctor had a look, chuckled and said, "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're
the stickers off the bananas!"

I can't come up with anything crafty for cucumbers.


CH3NO2

[hbchgirl]

A blond woman goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor.

"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina."

The Doctor had a look, chuckled and said, "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're
the stickers off the bananas!"

I literally LOL'd!!!