Joke of the Day!

[Stainless]

The Muslim Brotherhood

This morning, the Muslim Brotherhood warned the United States that if the United States continued meddling in Egypt , Libya , Syria , Afghanistan and other hot spots in the Middle East, they intend to cut off America 's supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.

If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T, and Direct TV customer service reps.

Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened not to send us any more presidents, either.

It's gonna get ugly, people.

[riverrunner1984]

The Muslim Brotherhood

This morning, the Muslim Brotherhood warned the United States that if the United States continued meddling in Egypt , Libya , Syria , Afghanistan and other hot spots in the Middle East, they intend to cut off America 's supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.

If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T, and Direct TV customer service reps.

Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened not to send us any more presidents, either.

It's gonna get ugly, people.

[riverrunner1984]

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license. They’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.”

[hbchgirl]

The Muslim Brotherhood

This morning, the Muslim Brotherhood warned the United States that if the United States continued meddling in Egypt , Libya , Syria , Afghanistan and other hot spots in the Middle East, they intend to cut off America 's supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.

If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T, and Direct TV customer service reps.

Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened not to send us any more presidents, either.

It's gonna get ugly, people.

LOL!

[hbchgirl]

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license. They’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.”

LOL!

[ChumpChange]

Jeremy was watching his favorite soccer team play on TV. All the while his wife was outside trimming the bushes and cutting the lawn. When the game was finished he got himself up from the couch and went outside to ask his wife what she was making for dinner. As you can imagine she was quite irritated. He actually had the nerve to ask what was for dinner when she was doing all the work and he was doing nothing. She said to her husband, "Jeremy, just imagine I am out of town and you go back inside and figure out dinner yourself." So he went back inside and cooked up a large steak, with a nice baked potato and he sat down to eat. A short while later his wife came inside and said, "Oh I see you made dinner. Where is mine?" "I thought you were out of town," he said.

[riverrunner1984]

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.

The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"

Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."

The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read aloud the text message they received, in response.

Here are some of the replies from the husbands:

1. Who the hell is this?

2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?

3. Yeh, and I love you too. What's up with you??

4. What now? Did you crash the car again?

5. I don't understand what you mean?

6. What the f%ck did you do now?

7. ?!??!!!!!

8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?

9. Am I dreaming?

10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.

11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.

12. Your cousin Tina is coming to stay with us, is'nt she???

[ChumpChange]

A male elf was so paranoid about the size of his willy that he could never work up the courage to have sex. Then one day he fell in love with a elf nurse.

One fine evening, they went back to her place. She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom. Totally mortified, he told her of his problem.

"Don't worry," She said. "I'm a nurse. I won't laugh."

Blushing the man drops his trousers. "It's OK," she said. "I've seen lots smaller than that."

"Really?" the relieved elf asked.

She nodded. "Yes," she chuckled, "I used to work in the maternity unit."

[hbchgirl]

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.

The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"

Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."

The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read aloud the text message they received, in response.

Here are some of the replies from the husbands:

1. Who the hell is this?

2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?

3. Yeh, and I love you too. What's up with you??

4. What now? Did you crash the car again?

5. I don't understand what you mean?

6. What the f%ck did you do now?

7. ?!??!!!!!

8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?

9. Am I dreaming?

10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.

11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.

12. Your cousin Tina is coming to stay with us, is'nt she???

[hbchgirl]

A male elf was so paranoid about the size of his willy that he could never work up the courage to have sex. Then one day he fell in love with a elf nurse.

One fine evening, they went back to her place. She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom. Totally mortified, he told her of his problem.

"Don't worry," She said. "I'm a nurse. I won't laugh."

Blushing the man drops his trousers. "It's OK," she said. "I've seen lots smaller than that."

"Really?" the relieved elf asked.

She nodded. "Yes," she chuckled, "I used to work in the maternity unit."