Joke of the Day!

[HB Vic]

A young gal was getting married The night before her mother comes in to have the mother daughter talk about the honeymoon night.
Upon returning from her honeymoon her mother asked how everything went.
The daughter Oh mom it was wonderful but I do have a question What are those two big round things about 12" from the tip.
The mother gasp and replies Well on your father they would be the cheeks of his ass

Lol. Welcome to www.hotboat.com

[HB Vic]

Three couples—one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed—apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.

After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "No problem at all, Pastor," replies the old man.

"Congratulations!" says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "It was difficult," replies the husband. "By the end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it."

"Congratulations on overcoming temptation," says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.

"At first it was no problem," says the husband. "But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," says the pastor.

"We know," says the young man. "We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."

[riverrunner1984]

lol good one!

[Stainless]

You guys are putting up good ones!!!

[The Doctor]

A seasoned couple finally got the straw that broke the camel's back. It seems the wife sent the husband out to get "those pills" that will help him get an erection and he came home with diet pills for her. That was all it took . . .

[ChumpChange]

This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car.
While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis.
"No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."

[ChumpChange]

A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!!!"

His wife asks "Wow! That's incredible! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"

He answers "I don't care. Just go!"

[Stainless]

:d:d:d

[ChumpChange]

Bill Johnson was busy at work when he received a call from his wife's doctor.

Dr. Smith: "Is this Bill Johnson, husband of Mary?"

Bill: "Yes it is, is there a problem?"

Dr. "Well, kind of. You see, I have been having a day from hell and saw 2 Mary Johnson's today and just got the test results. I can't recall which Mary is which."

Bill: "I don't understand, how does this affect me?"

Dr. "Well, one Mary has Alzheimer's Disease and the other has HIV"

Bill: "What should I do, Dr?"

Dr. "If your wife finds her way home, don't fvck her"

[Stainless]

Good one! lmao