Joke of the Day!

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Originally Posted by 314joey

Got some good one's river, I wish I could remember jokes, maybe if I wouldn't drink on days "ending in Y"

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LOL thanks. I get them from email or I likes a FB page that posts alot of them and figured I share them here.
Trust me, I cant remember Chit like that either lol

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.
Doctor: "What happened?"
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps.

I hate it when old people poke me at wedding and say "You're next!" * So I have started doing the same thing at funerals.

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Originally Posted by Mateo

I hate it when old people poke me at wedding and say "You're next!" * So I have started doing the same thing at funerals.

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Laugh my fucking ass off, that was good!!


CH3NO2

If I ever go missing I want my picture on a 40 oz. beer can instead of a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me.

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Originally Posted by Mateo

If I ever go missing I want my picture on a 40 oz. beer can instead of a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me.

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:p


CH3NO2

A blond woman goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor.

"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina."

The Doctor had a look, chuckled and said, "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're
the stickers off the bananas!"

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Originally Posted by riverrunner1984

A blond woman goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor.

"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina."

The Doctor had a look, chuckled and said, "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're
the stickers off the bananas!"

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:D
I can't come up with anything crafty for cucumbers.


CH3NO2

:)
:)
:)

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Originally Posted by riverrunner1984

• Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!"

Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back,

points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!"

Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"

Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

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It took me about 8 minutes to stop laughing at this one


Sent from my Bat Cave...