Yesterday I almost became a train wreck, literally. I was driving all over southern CA from one thing to another and was heading to my last meeting and thanks to traffic I had 2 people waiting for me. I was driving in a very unfamiliar area and I was about a fourth of a mile away from my destination, when I notice these flashing lights, yet everyone was driving right passed them as if it was just a common warning. Until I was close enough to realize there are train tracks and an on coming train. I slammed on my brakes as hard as I could, looked in the rear view mirror and noticed the car behind me was going to slam into my ass and shove me right into the train so I released the break and went forward about a car length. He barely stopped inches behind me to the point where I could see his face in my rear view mirror. I was relieved that he didn't hit me, until I realized where I was. I knew at this point I can't go forward because I would risk being hit by the train but I wasn't in a safe area either, I tried to reverse and the idiot behind me wouldn't get out of my way. I turned my head and shouted "MOVE!" he put his car in reverse and gave me space to move. I was in such a panic all I could see was mother's face and then my sisters faces and at this point everything became a fog. I thought, "I can't go like this." At this point, I couldn't hear anything, I obviously couldn't see anything because I tried to put the car in reverse and I wasn't moving, I looked down and it was in neutral, I made a second attempt and heard a loud roar from the engine. I was paralyzed by fear. I've never been paralyzed by fear. I've always taken fear by the horns and made it my bitch. I looked down again and noticed the car was in park. I focus as hard as I could and put the car in reverse, looked back and there was the barrier arm behind me and I had to get passed it. I slammed on the gas, and heard the loud scrape against the roof of my car and made it just in time to look up and see the train passing in front of me. I was shaking so hard I couldn't move. It felt like an eternity watching the train pass me. Once it passed, I put the car in drive and drove to the first drive way, park my car and took a few deep breaths. About a minute passed when I realized I'm going to need to talk to someone to help calm me down, can't call mother or sisters and freak them out, so I called my friend. As I started explaining what happened and realized I was safe, I burst into tears and cried, "I'm not supposed to die in a train wreck, I'm supposed to die sky diving or something." It took about ten minutes for me to finally stop shaking enough to drive again.

Well, it got me thinking, a lot of you race boats, cars etc. and do other things you love or for work that are far more dangerous and real than my experience. Have you ever been in a situation where you thought "holy shit this could be it!" What went through your mind?

I know one thing for sure, when I see my mother and sisters tonight I'm going to give them a giant hug. I just can't tell them why.