Teenage Yacht

[Sharp shooter]

A hippy boat from the 70's with a fat chick or another dude in the passenger seat and duct tape holding something together. Their day is almost always cut short by a loose wire or mechanical failure. The headers that came from the factory chromed are now brown and blue from the lack of water getting to them and dead skin that people left behind from accidently touching them. They usually hit a wall at 59 m.p.h. but rub a little craigslist magic on them and they will do well over 100. There must be a problem with the throttle because to keep them over 4000 rpm's for longer than 30 seconds is unheard of. If there is more than a 6" chop on the water the owners will bitch about how it was too rough to run and some how blame it on the lake. The driver will typically make a pass too close to shore or another boat with their jet-o-vator cranked up showing off their penis extension....errr.... rooster tail thinking that everyone is wowed by it when in reality everyone is saying


Did I miss anything? Remember it's not a stereotype if it's true.

Ok, any of us who have spent any amount of considerable time on the water know what you're talking about and yes it's a little funny because there are people and boats out there fitting that description, BUT lets do the same spin on the newer, bigger, higher freeboard generation of boats and boaters.

Boats from the last 3 decades are big, heavy, slow, laboring pigs. These boats are adorned with trend based graphics to give the appearance of "high performance" yet they are rarely fast and never quick (like your last boat's flame job Mr. Grads). It's not uncommon to see a boat with reverse tribal flames and it's owner having a matching tattoo around his upper arm. Owners of these newer generation of barge may have started out in a smaller jet propelled craft and likely (because they had no mechanical aptitude) had oil leaks, fires and many breakdowns.

The only fix was to take a 2nd out on their house (amidst an about-to-pop housing bubble) and buy something overpriced with a warranty to stay afloat. Safety blanket, thumb sucking, high freeboard heavy weight boats are boring to drive or ride in. You can't see the water much less drag your hand in just idling along and you look like a complete dork boating anywhere but in the ocean.

It's common to see barge boats beached or anchored together because it's actually more fun to sit parked blaring music (that nobody wants to hear) than to actually use these boats for boating. Plus it's easier to feed the alcoholism needed to get over the divorce these owners all went through after buying fake boobs for there now "ex wives".

[GRADS]

Touché!

Boats from the last 3 decades are big, heavy, slow, laboring pigs. These boats are adorned with trend based graphics to give the appearance of "high performance" yet they are rarely fast and never quick (like your last boat's flame job Mr. Grads). It's not uncommon to see a boat with reverse tribal flames and it's owner having a matching tattoo around his upper arm. Owners of these newer generation of barge may have started out in a smaller jet propelled craft and likely (because they had no mechanical aptitude) had oil leaks, fires and many breakdowns.

The only fix was to take a 2nd out on their house (amidst an about-to-pop housing bubble) and buy something overpriced with a warranty to stay afloat. Safety blanket, thumb sucking, high freeboard heavy weight boats are boring to drive or ride in. You can't see the water much less drag your hand in just idling along and you look like a complete dork boating anywhere but in the ocean.

It's common to see barge boats beached or anchored together because it's actually more fun to sit parked blaring music (that nobody wants to hear) than to actually use these boats for boating. Plus it's easier to feed the alcoholism needed to get over the divorce these owners all went through after buying fake boobs for there now "ex wives".

[chevellesb406]

That's pretty good, I wonder when everyone will realize they don't hate a certain type of boat but rather the dildo at the helm. I own a jet boat, I make fun of jet boats i.e. "It may be slow, but its sure inefficient." However, how many big boat owners drove one before they had the scratch to buy their 100k plus ride? Oh well, flame away.

[Sharp shooter]

This is more like a Ford vs Chevy banter. In the end, we all love boats and that's what matters.

[westair]

lol ....that is some good stuff!! .. if you can't see the truth and humor in that, then you haven't been boating long

[CampbellCarl]

Nobody gonna comment on blo-boats?

[Rock_Bottom]

Lol if you look past grads attitude towards jet boats, his statement is pretty dang accurate 😂(not for all jet boats) besides the fat chicks and 59 mph..oh and mines a 90 😆 ya there a little more maintenance but hey it's a boat (break out another thousand) hah

I've been on just about every type boat out there. I always get more looks when I'm in my little 19ft jet. Every one respects them cause that's where most boaters started from. And There a lot more funn to drive ( cause you actually have to drive them) 😁

Don't get me wrong tho, if I could afford it id deffinatly upgrade to a bigger boat.


No fats chicks here


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[Stainless]

Lol if you look past grads attitude towards jet boats, his statement is pretty dang accurate 😂(not for all jet boats) besides the fat chicks and 59 mph..oh and mines a 90 😆 ya there a little more maintenance but hey it's a boat (break out another thousand) hah

I've been on just about every type boat out there. I always get more looks when I'm in my little 19ft jet. Every one respects them cause that's where most boaters started from. And There a lot more funn to drive ( cause you actually have to drive them) 😁

Don't get me wrong tho, if I could afford it id deffinatly upgrade to a bigger boat.


No fats chicks here


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Those are nice hood ornaments!


CH3NO2

[Tinkerer]

My Daytona throws a penis er rooster tail without any trim.

[DC-88]

Lol if you look past grads attitude towards jet boats, his statement is pretty dang accurate 😂(not for all jet boats) besides the fat chicks and 59 mph..oh and mines a 90 😆 ya there a little more maintenance but hey it's a boat (break out another thousand) hah

I've been on just about every type boat out there. I always get more looks when I'm in my little 19ft jet. Every one respects them cause that's where most boaters started from. And There a lot more funn to drive ( cause you actually have to drive them) 😁

Don't get me wrong tho, if I could afford it id deffinatly upgrade to a bigger boat.


No fats chicks here


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Well said, it's full circle. The gold diggers with the dry box will always be most impressed w the ocean boat on the lake lol


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