Joke of the Day!

[Stainless]

ch3no2

[ChumpChange]

Two men are walking down the street when they see 3 guys across the road beating up an older woman. Fred turns to George and says "Hey, isn't that your mother in law over there?" "So it is." replies George. "Well aren't you going to help?!" Fred asked. "Nah," George replied, "I think 3 should be enough."

[ChumpChange]

An elderly couple were sitting outdoors at a cafe when they noticed an old man who seemed to be having trouble crossing the street with an ungainly shuffle. The man said to his wife "He surely has bad arthritis to walk like that." His wife replied "No, that's definitely old time rheumatism." They couldn't agree so the man decided to ask the old man. He walked over to him and said "Excuse me, sir, but my wife and I saw you having difficulty crossing the street and I told her that you have arthritis but she insisted that you have rheumatism. Which one of us was wrong?" The old man said "The three of us were wrong." "Three of us were wrong? How so?" asked the man to which the old man replied "You were wrong when you said I had arthritis and your wife was wrong when she said I had rheumatism and I was wrong when I thought I had to pass gas."

[rschap1]

[hbchgirl]

An elderly couple were sitting outdoors at a cafe when they noticed an old man who seemed to be having trouble crossing the street with an ungainly shuffle. The man said to his wife "He surely has bad arthritis to walk like that." His wife replied "No, that's definitely old time rheumatism." They couldn't agree so the man decided to ask the old man. He walked over to him and said "Excuse me, sir, but my wife and I saw you having difficulty crossing the street and I told her that you have arthritis but she insisted that you have rheumatism. Which one of us was wrong?" The old man said "The three of us were wrong." "Three of us were wrong? How so?" asked the man to which the old man replied "You were wrong when you said I had arthritis and your wife was wrong when she said I had rheumatism and I was wrong when I thought I had to pass gas."

...

[Havasu Party Bus]

A young man goes to his mother and father to share the news he has found a nice young lady to marry. After revealing who this woman is the father is angry and disapproves. The mother can not see why the boys father is so against it. A few days later the boy asked his father why he disapproves of the marriage. The father tells his son that the girl is his sister but the boys mother does not know. Feeling that he should tell his mother the boys goes and let's her know what the father has said. The mother laughs and said if you want to marry that girl you go right ahead because your father is not your father but he does not know.

[Havasu Party Bus]

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots
the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the
fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has
noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up
right now.
As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman. "Good
day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely
vehicle?"
He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to
shit when you hear the price."

[ChumpChange]

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!

[ChumpChange]

This farmer had a wife who nagged him all the time. One day while he was outside plowing the field, she came out and started nagging him. While she was doing this, the mule kicked her and she died. At the funeral, the ladies came up and talked to the farmer. The farmer nodded his head "yes". The men came up and talked to him and the farmer nodded his head "no". Well this other man wondered why he nodded his head "yes" to the ladies and "no" to the men. Then, he went up to the farmer and asked him why. The farmer replied, "Well, when the ladies came up, they told me how pretty my wife's dress was and how pretty she looked. When the men came up, they asked, "That mule for sale?"