I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of the Internet.
2 hours ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, decided to plagiarize a great speech. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to thousands of boating forum posters who had been seared in the flames of withering camaraderie. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

To be continued...