Laughing that you're calling that thing a beard! Can I call my hair thick and full?

I shouldn't laugh. Ever since I cut my head on the fire sprinkler, I haven't shaved my head as there was a giant cut. Yup I'm still bald on top. This is the longest my wife has ever seen my hair and we've been married over ten years. By the time I get home, it will be three weeks or so. I can feel the wind flowing through my hair....on the sides.....