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02-28-2017, 02:12 PM
#551
Senior Member
How do you pick up a Jewish girl in Germany?.... broom and dustpan haha....
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03-01-2017, 09:43 AM
#552
Senior Member
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03-01-2017, 10:02 AM
#553
Administrator
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03-01-2017, 10:23 PM
#554
Senior Member
Came back with a vengeance!
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03-09-2017, 03:19 PM
#555
Senior Member
You're in a room with a poisonous snake, an angry bear, and a lawyer. You have a gun but only have two bullets. What do you do??
Shoot the lawyer....twice.
The best things in life aren't things!
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03-09-2017, 03:34 PM
#556
Senior Member
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03-10-2017, 09:03 AM
#557
Senior Member
A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties.
The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."
The Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment - I spit on your ties. I need water!”
"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5."
"Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you, but I must conserve my energy and find water!"
"Okay," said the little old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need...Go In Peace!
Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, "They won't let me in without a tie!”
The best things in life aren't things!
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03-13-2017, 09:28 AM
#558
Senior Member
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03-15-2017, 04:50 PM
#559
Member
That one was great
Doc 
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03-15-2017, 10:42 PM
#560
Senior Member
My favorite right now:
Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the idiot's house.
Q: Knock knock.
?: Who's there?
A: The Chicken!
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