Joke of the Day!

[The Doctor]

An old miser, due to his terrible cheapness, had no friends nor family. Just before he died he called his doctor, his lawyer and a minister to come see him. They complied, and gathered together around his bed.
"I always heard you can't take it with you, but I am going to prove you can," he said. "I have $90,000 cash hidden underneath my mattress. It's in 3 envelopes of $30,000 each. I want each one of you to grab one envelope now and just before they throw the dirt on my grave, you throw the envelopes in."

Weeks later, the three attended the funeral, and true to their word, each threw in their envelope into the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the minister said, "I don't feel so good about this, I am going to confess, I desperately needed $10,000 for a new church we are building, so I took out $10,000 and threw only $20,000 in the grave."
The doctor said, "I, too, must confess. I am building a clinic and took $20,000 and threw in only $10,000." He looked ashamed.
The lawyer said, "Gentlemen, I'm surprised, shocked and ashamed of both of you. I don't see how you could in good conscience hold on to that money. I threw in a personal check for the entire amount."

[riverrunner1984]

An old miser, due to his terrible cheapness, had no friends nor family. Just before he died he called his doctor, his lawyer and a minister to come see him. They complied, and gathered together around his bed.
"I always heard you can't take it with you, but I am going to prove you can," he said. "I have $90,000 cash hidden underneath my mattress. It's in 3 envelopes of $30,000 each. I want each one of you to grab one envelope now and just before they throw the dirt on my grave, you throw the envelopes in."

Weeks later, the three attended the funeral, and true to their word, each threw in their envelope into the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the minister said, "I don't feel so good about this, I am going to confess, I desperately needed $10,000 for a new church we are building, so I took out $10,000 and threw only $20,000 in the grave."
The doctor said, "I, too, must confess. I am building a clinic and took $20,000 and threw in only $10,000." He looked ashamed.
The lawyer said, "Gentlemen, I'm surprised, shocked and ashamed of both of you. I don't see how you could in good conscience hold on to that money. I threw in a personal check for the entire amount."

Took me a second but I finally got it lol Good one!

[spike morelli]

The small town that I'm from, has had the same population number for years and years. Every time some woman has a baby, some man leaves town.

[spike morelli]

Recently, a large 4 foot by 4 foot hole has mysteriously appeared in the outer bedroom wall of the attractive young woman who lives next door. No one knows how it got there, but I'm looking into it............

[ChumpChange]

Recently, a large 4 foot by 4 foot hole has mysteriously appeared in the outer bedroom wall of the attractive young woman who lives next door. No one knows how it got there, but I'm looking into it............

lol...

[The Doctor]

An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we can cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work.
The German doctor says: "That' nothing. In Germany, we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a one man, put it in another man's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."
The American doctor laughs: "You are ALL behind us in America, Seven years ago, we took a Muslim with NO brains, NO heart and NO balls and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for work!"

[riverrunner1984]

An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we can cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work.
The German doctor says: "That' nothing. In Germany, we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a one man, put it in another man's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."
The American doctor laughs: "You are ALL behind us in America, Seven years ago, we took a Muslim with NO brains, NO heart and NO balls and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for work!"