Joke of the Day!

[ChumpChange]

At a local college, there was a dance.

A guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich". She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."

[ChumpChange]

A worker who was being paid by the week approached his employer and held up his last paycheck. "This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on," he said.

"I know," the employer said. "But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained."

"Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake," the worker answered, "but when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention."

[rschap1]

[ChumpChange]

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night, when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.

It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we
take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"

He says, "O.K., Get in the car with it."

"Where shall I put it to get it warm?"

He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there.

"But what about the smell?"

"Just hold its nose."

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.

[doubleeagle]

A young gal was getting married The night before her mother comes in to have the mother daughter talk about the honeymoon night.
Upon returning from her honeymoon her mother asked how everything went.
The daughter Oh mom it was wonderful but I do have a question What are those two big round things about 12" from the tip.
The mother gasp and replies Well on your father they would be the cheeks of his ass

[HB Vic]

A young gal was getting married The night before her mother comes in to have the mother daughter talk about the honeymoon night.
Upon returning from her honeymoon her mother asked how everything went.
The daughter Oh mom it was wonderful but I do have a question What are those two big round things about 12" from the tip.
The mother gasp and replies Well on your father they would be the cheeks of his ass

Lol. Welcome to www.hotboat.com

[HB Vic]

Three couples—one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed—apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.

After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "No problem at all, Pastor," replies the old man.

"Congratulations!" says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "It was difficult," replies the husband. "By the end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it."

"Congratulations on overcoming temptation," says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.

"At first it was no problem," says the husband. "But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," says the pastor.

"We know," says the young man. "We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."

[riverrunner1984]

lol good one!

[SBS933]

A blonde is in the mountains camping when she walks down to the river, she notices another blonde across the river from her. The other blonde yells over to her " HEY, how do I get to the other side ? The blonde looks up river then down river and yells back "YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE


A blonde is walking down the street when she notices another blonde in a dirt field, sitting in a rowboat rowing. She yells over " What the hell are you doing ? the other blonde responds I'm rowing my boat in the lake. The blonde responds with, You dumb ass chick you are the reason us blondes have a bad name, and if I could swim I would go over there and kick your ass.

[ChumpChange]

There's a pirate ship out at sea and the captain asks his pirate in the crow's nest to keep on the lookout. The guy in the crow's nest says "I see a boat a few miles off, but they're gaining fast."

The captain says "Quick someone get me my red shirt. That way if I get hurt, the crew won't see and we won't lose morale."

The lookout says "They're getting closer and now there are five ships!"

The captain says "Quick, someone get me my brown pants!