Last night, I'm on my way home and driving between 90-100 mph on the freeway. I keep looking up at the speedometer (in the Camero the speed is displayed as a holograph in the windshield) and keep thinking…SLOW DOWN! Well sure as the sky was black, I see the unmistakable red and blue lights I have become oh so familiar with this last year. I begin my speed reduction and right lane approach, as I am in the fast lane. I exit the freeway, for both mine and the officer's safety and I turn into the first gas station.

I'm nearly blinded by all the lights, so I roll down both front windows. I see a flashlight approaching on my right, so I roll up the driver's side window. The flashlight tells me, "roll down your driver window ma'am". So of course I did. The following ensues:

O: I pulled you over for speeding, do you know how fast you were going?
E: No, I'm sorry I don't (insert I'm guilty as fuck but please don't give me a ticket expression)
I didn't lie, at that point it had been a few minutes since my last "SLOW DOWN" lecture to myself.
O: 90 when I approached you and 85 when I hit the lights. ($370 ticket without traffic school fees and costs UGH!)
E: oh
O: Where are you going?
E: Home
O: Where are you coming from?
E: A friend's house.
O: License, insurance and registration please.
E: Here's my license, the car is a rental so all I have is the rental agreement, I think, and I don't have my proof of insurance with me. ($796 fine)
O: Is this your current address?
E: No ($25 fix it ticket)
I can hear the cash register cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching. Crap there goes my new gun I've been saving for!!!!
O: Have you been drinking?
E: No
O: Nothing at all?
E: Nothing
O: You sound like you are slurring.
E: I do? (giggle, giggle)
O: Yes.
E: I ate at McDonalds, they don't serve alcohol there.
Luckily, I had not been drinking AT ALL and I had my McD's bag in my car. I lift the bag and show the officer.
O: Yea, last time I checked they don't serve alcohol. Place your hands on the door please…(WTF????)
I place my hands on the door, and he proceeds with a mini field sobriety test. Of course, I think it's kind of funny that I am getting a sobriety test and I have an ear to ear grin and a few giggles in between. But, I think I passed. I hate failing tests!
O: Okay, wait right here.
Officer Garcia goes away for a few minutes as I ponder why the Fuck didn't I use my lawyering skills to get myself out of this mess? He returns.
O: This is your lucky night. I'm going to let you off with a warning as to the speeding. Just saved you $1,500 in total fines and fees. But, you have 2 fix it tickets as to the address and insurance.
E: This is like Christmas.
O: Yes, Christmas in May.
E: Thank you very much, I think I'm going to cry.
O: Don't cry, you'll make me cry.
E: I promise I will not go over 65 mph all the way home.
O: My partner and I are going to follow you home.
WTF???? CREEPY!!!!
E: I'm going to hit the ladies room and be on my way, thank you!
His follow you home comment did creep me out.

WOW, did I get lucky! I didn't even try to get out of that mess. But, it took me FOREVER to drive home at 65 mph and watching EVERYONE, even RR's grandma, Omi, pass me…walking, was a tad frustrating. Hey, but I made it home safe!