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Thread: Eli Gets Lucky!

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  1. #1

    Eli Gets Lucky!

    Last night, I'm on my way home and driving between 90-100 mph on the freeway. I keep looking up at the speedometer (in the Camero the speed is displayed as a holograph in the windshield) and keep thinking…SLOW DOWN! Well sure as the sky was black, I see the unmistakable red and blue lights I have become oh so familiar with this last year. I begin my speed reduction and right lane approach, as I am in the fast lane. I exit the freeway, for both mine and the officer's safety and I turn into the first gas station.

    I'm nearly blinded by all the lights, so I roll down both front windows. I see a flashlight approaching on my right, so I roll up the driver's side window. The flashlight tells me, "roll down your driver window ma'am". So of course I did. The following ensues:

    O: I pulled you over for speeding, do you know how fast you were going?
    E: No, I'm sorry I don't (insert I'm guilty as fuck but please don't give me a ticket expression)
    I didn't lie, at that point it had been a few minutes since my last "SLOW DOWN" lecture to myself.
    O: 90 when I approached you and 85 when I hit the lights. ($370 ticket without traffic school fees and costs UGH!)
    E: oh
    O: Where are you going?
    E: Home
    O: Where are you coming from?
    E: A friend's house.
    O: License, insurance and registration please.
    E: Here's my license, the car is a rental so all I have is the rental agreement, I think, and I don't have my proof of insurance with me. ($796 fine)
    O: Is this your current address?
    E: No ($25 fix it ticket)
    I can hear the cash register cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching. Crap there goes my new gun I've been saving for!!!!
    O: Have you been drinking?
    E: No
    O: Nothing at all?
    E: Nothing
    O: You sound like you are slurring.
    E: I do? (giggle, giggle)
    O: Yes.
    E: I ate at McDonalds, they don't serve alcohol there.
    Luckily, I had not been drinking AT ALL and I had my McD's bag in my car. I lift the bag and show the officer.
    O: Yea, last time I checked they don't serve alcohol. Place your hands on the door please…(WTF????)
    I place my hands on the door, and he proceeds with a mini field sobriety test. Of course, I think it's kind of funny that I am getting a sobriety test and I have an ear to ear grin and a few giggles in between. But, I think I passed. I hate failing tests!
    O: Okay, wait right here.
    Officer Garcia goes away for a few minutes as I ponder why the Fuck didn't I use my lawyering skills to get myself out of this mess? He returns.
    O: This is your lucky night. I'm going to let you off with a warning as to the speeding. Just saved you $1,500 in total fines and fees. But, you have 2 fix it tickets as to the address and insurance.
    E: This is like Christmas.
    O: Yes, Christmas in May.
    E: Thank you very much, I think I'm going to cry.
    O: Don't cry, you'll make me cry.
    E: I promise I will not go over 65 mph all the way home.
    O: My partner and I are going to follow you home.
    WTF???? CREEPY!!!!
    E: I'm going to hit the ladies room and be on my way, thank you!
    His follow you home comment did creep me out.

    WOW, did I get lucky! I didn't even try to get out of that mess. But, it took me FOREVER to drive home at 65 mph and watching EVERYONE, even RR's grandma, Omi, pass me…walking, was a tad frustrating. Hey, but I made it home safe!

  2. #2
    That's just not right at all. Us males would have been thrown in the pokey. Who do I call to file a complaint? Lol


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  3. #3
    Not to be all nerdy but hey, maybe that even saved a life or two!!! You just never know what the night had in store for you...intuition was already saying slow down. Now that I'm done being a downer... How fu@&g cool was that hook up, best feeling in the world to slide away on a ticket!!!! Wooooo-hooooo

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Hotboat View Post
    That's just not right at all. Us males would have been thrown in the pokey. Who do I call to file a complaint? Lol


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    I can take all complaints lol
    Quote Originally Posted by Get415 View Post
    Not to be all nerdy but hey, maybe that even saved a life or two!!! You just never know what the night had in store for you...intuition was already saying slow down. Now that I'm done being a downer... How fu@&g cool was that hook up, best feeling in the world to slide away on a ticket!!!! Wooooo-hooooo
    I agree with you! I'm grateful I got the slow down fear instilled in me with a warning. I drove home on cruise control the rest of the way.


    Sent from my Bat Cave

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Hotboat View Post
    That's just not right at all. Us males would have been thrown in the pokey. Who do I call to file a complaint? Lol


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



    Boobs help

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by K-034 View Post
    Boobs help
    Yes. Lol

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by K-034 View Post
    Boobs help
    Quote Originally Posted by djunkie View Post
    Yes. Lol
    It's not like I tore my top off before he asked.


    Sent from my Bat Cave

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Eli View Post
    It's not like I tore my top off before he asked.


    Sent from my Bat Cave
    Lol. You don't even have to tear your top off.. Your top can barley contain those two anyways! 😳 hehehe.

  9. #9
    Senior Member 28eliminator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by K-034 View Post
    Boobs help
    Yep.. Her tits got her out of it..


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    Quote Originally Posted by Wendi View Post
    Seriously fuck a duck

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by 28eliminator View Post
    Yep.. Her tits got her out of it..


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    I was joking, he didn't see them. I'm going with my sweet smile did the trick


    Sent from my Bat Cave

 

 

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