Man rules

[Skav]

I git this from a buddy today

... WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

[Stainless]

Exactly,,,good stuff right here.

[riverrunner1984]

Right on!

[314joey]

Great rules and I like them too too, but unfortunately their rule usually out weighs any of our rules.

[Menace Marine]

Great rules and I like them too too, but unfortunately their rule usually out weighs any of our rules.

No way. I like the man rules. Women would like them too if only they could understand them. Their simplicity is their brilliance. If she takes the "I have the pussy, I make the rules." stance then I'm gone. It is never worth the headache.

Look how tough I sound on the internet.

[28eliminator]

No way. I like the man rules. Women would like them too if only they could understand them. Their simplicity is their brilliance. If she takes the "I have the pussy, I make the rules." stance then I'm gone. It is never worth the headache.

Look how tough I sound on the internet.

LOL.. yeah, sounds good when you type it huh

[314joey]

No way. I like the man rules. Women would like them too if only they could understand them. Their simplicity is their brilliance. If she takes the "I have the pussy, I make the rules." stance then I'm gone. It is never worth the headache.

Look how tough I sound on the internet.

I'm with you 99%, it's that 1% morning wood that gets me in trouble, then I cave, dahm it.

Nice tank btw Eli

[Skav]

No way. I like the man rules. Women would like them too if only they could understand them. Their simplicity is their brilliance. If she takes the "I have the pussy, I make the rules." stance then I'm gone. It is never worth the headache.

Look how tough I sound on the internet.

Careful Dustin. I have your home number

[Eli]

I love the rules, But 314Joey is right






Sent from my Bat Cave...

[Stainless]

i love the rules, but 314joey is right






Sent from my bat cave...

ch3no2