Joke of the Day!

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes- caffeine."

"Have you ever been in the military service?

"Yes," he says "I was in Afghanistan for two years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward

employment."

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my

testicles.

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K.. You've got enough points

for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to

4: 00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M .

every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to

4:00 PM. , why don't you want me to here until 10:00 A.M .?"

"This is a Government job," the interviewer says, "For the first two

hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls..

Good one Mateo!

Two blonds were out walking one day when they came across a set of tracks. The first one said "Those are elk tracks" while the second quickly responded "No. Those are deer tracks." They went back and forth for fifteen minutes both insisting they were right until the train hit them.

:d:d:d

Took a few days off of work last week.

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband came into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said. "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?!? They're going to STICK! Careful... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!

You never listen to me when you're cooking," he added. "Never! Turn them! Hurry Up! Are you CRAZY?!? Have you lost your MIND?!? Don't forget to salt them! You know you always forget that. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at thim, "What's wrong with you? You don't think I know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming aorund in Spain...

While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Si Senor, you have excellent taste! Those are Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A true delicacy!"

The cowboy said, "What the heck, bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor, there is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. if you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy."

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday."

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

Oh no


Yucky

LMAO Mateo, that was good!

Hahah good one...definatly so true

👍Hahahaha