whos right?

My brother is worried about his six year old kid and being raised right. My brother is very smart was a straight A student. But he hung around the screw up kids as a teenager. The lazy smoke pot and drink beer everyday. The stealing cars, breaking into houses and dealing drugs kind of kids. He's a computer programmer, has an ok job. But most of his friends are dead beat losers at 40+. His best friend was a garden laborer, wife left him, didn't pay child support. Moved into his parents basement and stayed drunk. Finally killed himself! Other friends are pretty much like that guy. He thinks I'm a snob. Even though we came from an upper middle class family. He admits his social skills make life very hard career wise. This is what I said, drop all the loser adults in your life. Meet your kids friends parents. If they seem good take them out for dinner. If they are active in their kids lives, have your kid play with that kid afterschool. Dead beat parents keep it school only. I say have quality people and kids around his kid will do fine. He thinks I mean rich kids and their parents. I reminded his friends that are losers their parents things like accountants and dentists! I gave the example of my friends parents, dad was a construction worker and mom taught school. Not rich, not poor, average. The parents had great friends around with their kids, doing things like camping. My friend at 11 wanted a skateboard his parents wouldn't buy too expensive. So he fished golf balls out of the ponds at golf courses and sold them to golfers in the parking lot! I said hang around people like that, with kids that have social and smarts to make it in the world. He's still defending his dirt bag friends, oh he's a great guy. My Dad used to tell him stop hanging around with that kid, he's a loser. Brother wrote it off as Dads a snob. Funny he's saying the same with me!

My mom always said you are the friends you keep. Time for him to get better friends. You're right.

Another saying, if you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.

You're 100% correct, environment means a lot, you've just explained me and my Brother, he never could stay away from the kids who always got in trouble, he never made anything of himself and smokes 2 packs of cigs a day and 12-18 Busch, our whole Family has tried to help him over the years, but unless someone is willing to change and help themselves, it's a lost cause.

Don't get me wrong, I tip a few back from time to time, but it's socially, not EVERYDAY, plus I worked my ass off and did well and retired at 50, he's still working and he's 63 with no end in site.

I'm sure your Brother is like mine, he's a good person, he just makes bad decisions and won't change, he was lucky and his x-wife got his kid and she did great in school, went to college and has a great job, so hopefully his Son won't follow in his footsteps, good luck, I hope it turns out well for him and his Family.

You are both the Director, and Casting Director of your own movie. Everyone has the power to cast whomever is best in the story of their life. As Director, you can change the direction of your story.I have a handful of friends who seem to find trouble, they will always be my friends, as some go way back, but I don't have to live like them and get into trouble too, you know? In the epic story of one's life, a strong supporting cast ( good friends and family ) is such a positive contribution.

Let me add this last thought. I's all up to you. I certainly don't mean to get overtly religious here, but sometimes, what's said here in this photo should be said out loud to those who might get it.Attachment 62478

Sounds like a lot going on in his life. Bottom line is if he doesn't take the time to teach the kid right from wrong, smart moves vs dumb moves, good people vs bad people, and basic common sense, the kid will be on his/her own.

All the other good things that happen when you have a "normal" family upbringing are gravy. But a kid can come up with without that, but it will definitely be harder.

Honestly these days, that good old family upbringing environment is all but a memory. Sad.

Good luck to him and his child.

It is common that smart, straight A students lack common sense when it comes to personal decisions. :(
I hope he listens sooner than later for his kids sakes.