motivation !!!
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motivation !!!
So this blind guy in a wheelchair walks into an empty bar and says "Wheres my Fireball?" ....
Wendi replies "Up the stairs and to your left, get it yourself"
lol
Blind guys in wheelchairs have no business walking.Quote:
Originally Posted by ptc
Sounds about right, except blind guys in wheelchairs probably won't walk into a bar full or empty. LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by ptc
:action-smiley-060:
There was an older man that was married to a much younger woman, and he was having trouble lasting long enough in bed. So he went to the doctor and was told he should please himself before having sex and he would last longer. One day as 5 o'clock rolls around, he gets a call from his wife who says she's very horny. On his way home, he remembers what the doctor said and decides to jerk it before he gets home. He thinks, "Well, I can't do it in the car, but if I get under it I can pretend I'm fixing my car." So he gets under the car, closes his eyes, and starts jerkin it. A few minutes later, there's a tug at his pants leg. In order to keep the image of his beautiful wife, he doesn't open his eyes, but just hollars, "Yeah?" "I'm Officer Brown. What are you doing down there?" "Well, officer, I'm checking my axle; I think it's come lose." "Well, mister, while you're down there, you might wanna check your brakes; your car's 2 blocks down the road crashed into a tree."
Lmao!!
Poor tree
All very true MK! :p
TOO true
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.
The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow".
The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".
The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father works for the government. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!!"
Secretary walks in to the boss's office and says "I'm afraid I have some bad news."
The boss replies, "why do you always have to give me bad news? Can't you, just once, give me some good news?"
The secretary replies: "OK, you're not sterile."
Lmao Doc and Mateo! :D
A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak....
He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged... shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed he was approached by his doctor.
"Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot."
"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my brother."
"Oh, well I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your brother a plastic surgeon?"
"Not exactly." answered the doctor. "He's a flute player in the local symphony and he's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."
Lol ...
So on the main screen it says Hotboat has the last post but when I come in here, it says my post is the last one.....
.....okay so now his/her post is there. ;D
Funny!
"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school." "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school." "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me." "Oh! that's no reason. Come on, you have to go to school." "Give me two good reasons why I should go to school?" "One, you are fifty-two years old. Two, you are the principal!"
BahahaQuote:
Originally Posted by Mateo
A guy brings his best buddy home for dinner.
His wife screams: "You butthead!
My hair & makeup aren't done, the house is a mess, the dishes
aren't done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with
cooking tonight!
Why in hell did you bring him home?"
The guy answered: "Because he's thinking of getting married."
lol...Quote:
Originally Posted by boatnaked