Joke of the Day!

Jim was sitting at the bar having a few drinks after work. A woman walks into the bar and Jim smiles as he thinks he recognizes her. "Why that is my wife," Jim thinks to himself. Jim walks up behind the woman says "hello dear" and gives her a big kiss. Immediately the woman slaps Jim and says, "Who do you think you are? You are so rude." "I am so sorry," Jim says. "I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "You are a worthless, no good, drunken bum," the woman says to Jim. "Wow," Jim replies, "and you sound like her too!"

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Originally Posted by mateo

jim was sitting at the bar having a few drinks after work. A woman walks into the bar and jim smiles as he thinks he recognizes her. "why that is my wife," jim thinks to himself. Jim walks up behind the woman says "hello dear" and gives her a big kiss. Immediately the woman slaps jim and says, "who do you think you are? You are so rude." "i am so sorry," jim says. "i thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "you are a worthless, no good, drunken bum," the woman says to jim. "wow," jim replies, "and you sound like her too!"

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lol! 😂

Funny..............but my name is Jim.

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Originally Posted by 314joey

Funny..............but my name is Jim.

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Coincidence? Or did it hit home?

A guy dies and finds himself at the pearly gates with Saint Peter, the guy looks around and asks what are all these clocks for ? Saint Peter tells him, everyone has a clock and when you lie the hand moves. The guy asks who's clock is that, Saint Peter replies that is Mother Theresa's, the hands never moved. He then asked who's is that, well thats Abe Linclons it only moved twice. The man looks some more and asks, wheres Obama's clock ? The Saint replies, Oh Jesus keeps that in his office, he uses it for a ceiling fan.

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Originally Posted by SBS933

A guy dies and finds himself at the pearly gates with Saint Peter, the guy looks around and asks what are all these clocks for ? Saint Peter tells him, everyone has a clock and when you lie the hand moves. The guy asks who's clock is that, Saint Peter replies that is Mother Theresa's, the hands never moved. He then asked who's is that, well thats Abe Linclons it only moved twice. The man looks some more and asks, wheres Obama's clock ? The Saint replies, Oh Jesus keeps that in his office, he uses it for a ceiling fan.

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:LMAOsmiley:

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out.

Both said they were very much in favor of it..

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain, and the husband had experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic, and she was able to leave the hospital within a few hours.

When they got home they found the UPS man dead on the porch.

Good one Matt! :champagne:

That should be the start of a political career

Mateo that one is a Winner. :lmao