I am soo screwed!!!

[Skav]

I just got this email today... But on the plus side, my wife has been in a great mood for the last couple days;)

Am very sorry for you my friend, is a pity that this is how your life is going to end as soon as you don't comply. As you can see there is no need of introducing myself to you because I don't have any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL/ASSASINATE you and I have to do it as I have already been paid for that.



Someone you call a friend wants you Dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told me that he want you dead and he provided us with your name, picture and other necessary information's we needed about you. So I sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation on you, and they have done that but I told them not to kill you that I will like to contact you and see if your life is Important to you or not since their findings shows that you are innocent.



I called my client back and ask him of you email address which I didn't tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I am using it to contact you now. As I am writing to you now my men are monitoring you and they are telling me everything about you.



Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? As someone has paid us to kill you. Get back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare your life, If you are not ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up.



WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELL ANYONE BECAUSE I WILL KNOW. REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY.



DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:30PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD AFTER YOU HAVE COMPLIED WITH MY DEMANDS, THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION. GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY


Don Vanuchi
Reply in all this emails below...
donvanuchi9287@zoho.com
03488822don@bk.ru
killer_agents36@rocketmail.com

[Slacker]

Is that aka Grads,,,,,,,:lmao1:

[ChumpChange]

Well that's a new twist! Haven't seen that one before. Good luck.

[Eli]

Wow!


Sent from my Bat Cave

[WESTERNAERO]

Well, if his killing skills are as good as his grammar, I'd say you have nothing to fear.

[28eliminator]

Can I have your boat :D

Doesn't sound like you'll be needing it..


Sent from somewhere on the water

[HB Vic]

Wow there's a lot of detail there. Are you sure its not a family member?? LOL

[Tishimself]

Run forest run!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D


30255

[Unforgiven]

So...Grads got a new job and didn't tell us about it?

[Tishimself]

So...Grads got a new job and didn't tell us about it?


If that was true, WMC and HB should be getting one of those letters soon also. Payback for the mod but not a mod debacle?? ;)

[HB Vic]

If that was true, WMC and HB should be getting one of those letters soon also. Payback for the mod but not a mod debacle?? ;)

I have a death filter on my email :D

[SBS933]

I wouldn't sweat it, my Ex-Wife said that shit to me everyday for 30 yrs.

[Skav]

Wow there's a lot of detail there. Are you sure its not a family member?? LOL

Well, like I said, my wife has been in a great mood lately;)

[ChumpChange]

Well, like I said, my wife has been in a great mood lately;)

At least find out how much your life is worth! I'd reply!

[Tishimself]

At least find out how much your life is worth! I'd reply!

Anyone wanna start a bet thread on the over/under of what SKAV's life will come back being worth??

[Skav]

At least find out how much your life is worth! I'd reply!

Can I reply using you email address? I've already got enough spam, and if it's legit, I'd probably just get depressed with how little my wife is worth;(

[ChumpChange]

Can I reply using you email address? I've already got enough spam, and if it's legit, I'd probably just get depressed with how little my wife is worth;(

I like how the guy left you three email addresses. At least he knows that they will be canceled out pretty soon, so he's giving himself a better chance of you getting through to him.

[SnoC653]

Now this is some seriously funny stuff. Since it's after 7:30 aren't you scared? Never heard of a hit man double crossing the client and trying to extort from the mark. But with grammar that poor, it's obvious he's not the sharpest crayon in the box.

[ChumpChange]

Anybody here from Skav today? Gettin kind of worried!

[Skav]

Anybody here from Skav today? Gettin kind of worried!

Thanks for following up Mateo. I made it though the day, and it looks like my luck is turning around. Check out the email I received today!!! Looks like I'm getting bumped up to baller status. First thing I'm gonna do is buy a Schiada and get a place in Parker;)

Your all invited to the party after I move in!

I AM JOSEPH BOYKIN, AN AMERICAN SOLDIER, PRESENTLY WITH THE ARMY'S 3RD INFANTRY DIVISION IN AFGHANISTAN, WITH A DESPERATE NEED FOR ASSISTANCE. I AM SEEKING YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE TO MOVE THE SUM OF US$24,000,000.00 (TWENTY-FOUR MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS) TO A SECURE LOCATION.

SOME MONEY IN VARIOUS CURRENCIES WAS DISCOVERED IN BARRELS AT A FARMHOUSE NEAR ONE OF SADDAM HUSSEIN'S OLD PALACES IN TIKRIT-IRAQ DURING A RESCUE OPERATION. THE ABOVE FIGURE WAS GIVEN TO ME AS MY SHARE, AND TO CONCEAL THIS KIND OF MONEY BECAME A PROBLEM FOR ME, SO WITH THE HELP OF A BRITISH RED CROSS OFFICIAL WORKING HERE AND HIS OFFICE ENJOYING SOME IMMUNITY, I WAS ABLE TO GET THE PACKAGES OUT TO A SAFE LOCATION ENTIRELY OUT OF TROUBLE SPOT AND LODGED THEM IN THE VAULT OF A SECURITY COMPANY UNDER THE IMPRESSION OF "PERSONAL VALUABLES".

THE SECURITY COMPANY DOES NOT KNOW THE REAL CONTENTS OF THE PACKAGES - THEY BELIEVE THAT IT BELONGS TO A BRITISH/AMERICAN MEDICAL DOCTOR WHO DIED IN A RAID THERE IN IRAQ, AND BEFORE GIVING UP, TRUSTED ME TO HAND OVER THE PACKAGE TO HIS FAMILY IN UNITED STATES. WITH THE PROPOSED PLAN TO END COMBAT OPERATIONS AT THE END OF LAST YEAR BY PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA, TO END THE SUICIDE BOMBING AND MAKE PEACE WITH IRAQI MILITANT AND TERRORIST, I DECIDED TO MOVE THIS MONEY TO YOU FOR SAFEKEEPING PENDING WHEN I WILL RETURN TO THE USA AFTER AT THE COMPLETION OF MY ASSIGNMENT HERE.

THE SECURITY COMPANY WILL ASSIST US IN MOVING THE PACKAGES TO YOU. I JUST SENT THEM AN EMAIL TOO TO EXPEDITE ACTIONS. I GUARANTEE THAT THIS WILL BE EXECUTED UNDER A LEGITIMATE PLATFORM THAT WILL PROTECT YOU FROM ANY BREACH OF THE LAW AS IT IS A 100% RISK FREE VENTURE. KINDLY INDICATE YOUR INTEREST IN ASSISTING A FELLOW AMERICAN BY PROVIDING THE BELLOW INFO.

YOUR FULL NAMES:
YOUR ADDRESS:
YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER:
YOUR AGE:
YOUR OCCUPATION:

I NEED YOU TO CONFIRM TO ME YOUR PERCENTAGE OR HOW MUCH YOU WILL TAKE FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND FOR A CHARITY IN YOUR NEXT MAIL TO ME, WHICH SHOULD BE AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS MAIL. I PROPOSE 20% FOR YOU, AND 10% FOR CHARITY. I HONESTLY WANT THIS MATTER TO BE RESOLVED ASAP.

GOD BLESS,

SGT. JOE BOYKIN

[Tishimself]

Thanks for following up Mateo. I made it though the day, and it looks like my luck is turning around. Check out the email I received today!!! Looks like I'm getting bumped up to baller status. First thing I'm gonna do is buy a Schiada and get a place in Parker;)

Your all invited to the party after I move in!

I AM JOSEPH BOYKIN, AN AMERICAN SOLDIER, PRESENTLY WITH THE ARMY'S 3RD INFANTRY DIVISION IN AFGHANISTAN, WITH A DESPERATE NEED FOR ASSISTANCE. I AM SEEKING YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE TO MOVE THE SUM OF US$24,000,000.00 (TWENTY-FOUR MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS) TO A SECURE LOCATION.

SOME MONEY IN VARIOUS CURRENCIES WAS DISCOVERED IN BARRELS AT A FARMHOUSE NEAR ONE OF SADDAM HUSSEIN'S OLD PALACES IN TIKRIT-IRAQ DURING A RESCUE OPERATION. THE ABOVE FIGURE WAS GIVEN TO ME AS MY SHARE, AND TO CONCEAL THIS KIND OF MONEY BECAME A PROBLEM FOR ME, SO WITH THE HELP OF A BRITISH RED CROSS OFFICIAL WORKING HERE AND HIS OFFICE ENJOYING SOME IMMUNITY, I WAS ABLE TO GET THE PACKAGES OUT TO A SAFE LOCATION ENTIRELY OUT OF TROUBLE SPOT AND LODGED THEM IN THE VAULT OF A SECURITY COMPANY UNDER THE IMPRESSION OF "PERSONAL VALUABLES".

THE SECURITY COMPANY DOES NOT KNOW THE REAL CONTENTS OF THE PACKAGES - THEY BELIEVE THAT IT BELONGS TO A BRITISH/AMERICAN MEDICAL DOCTOR WHO DIED IN A RAID THERE IN IRAQ, AND BEFORE GIVING UP, TRUSTED ME TO HAND OVER THE PACKAGE TO HIS FAMILY IN UNITED STATES. WITH THE PROPOSED PLAN TO END COMBAT OPERATIONS AT THE END OF LAST YEAR BY PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA, TO END THE SUICIDE BOMBING AND MAKE PEACE WITH IRAQI MILITANT AND TERRORIST, I DECIDED TO MOVE THIS MONEY TO YOU FOR SAFEKEEPING PENDING WHEN I WILL RETURN TO THE USA AFTER AT THE COMPLETION OF MY ASSIGNMENT HERE.

THE SECURITY COMPANY WILL ASSIST US IN MOVING THE PACKAGES TO YOU. I JUST SENT THEM AN EMAIL TOO TO EXPEDITE ACTIONS. I GUARANTEE THAT THIS WILL BE EXECUTED UNDER A LEGITIMATE PLATFORM THAT WILL PROTECT YOU FROM ANY BREACH OF THE LAW AS IT IS A 100% RISK FREE VENTURE. KINDLY INDICATE YOUR INTEREST IN ASSISTING A FELLOW AMERICAN BY PROVIDING THE BELLOW INFO.

YOUR FULL NAMES:
YOUR ADDRESS:
YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER:
YOUR AGE:
YOUR OCCUPATION:

I NEED YOU TO CONFIRM TO ME YOUR PERCENTAGE OR HOW MUCH YOU WILL TAKE FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND FOR A CHARITY IN YOUR NEXT MAIL TO ME, WHICH SHOULD BE AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS MAIL. I PROPOSE 20% FOR YOU, AND 10% FOR CHARITY. I HONESTLY WANT THIS MATTER TO BE RESOLVED ASAP.

GOD BLESS,

SGT. JOE BOYKIN

How do these guys get your email?? How come I NEVER get cool emails like that?? I am just so not cool.

[28eliminator]

We'll at least your still kickin... :D


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk (http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1)

[rschap1]

Can the "agent_killer" be paid through PayPal and is the transaction assured by Ebay's Buyer Protection program???

Is the item you have listed still for sale...oops sorry that is Craigslist

[Skav]

Crap! Now I'm totally bummed out. This is the email I just received. Guess I'm not a very good friend. I don't even know who died!?!?

Eubank
Funeral Home & Cremation Services

For this unprecedented event, we offer our deepest prayers of condolence and invite to you to be present at the
celebration of your friends life service on Thursday, January 17, 2014 that will take place at Eubank
Funeral Home at 11:00 a.m.

Please find invitation and more detailed information about the farewell ceremony here .

Best wishes and prayers,

Funeral home receptionist,
Robert Bradley

Copyright 2014 Funeral Home Website Design By: Frazer Consultants LLC

[Tishimself]

Crap! Now I'm totally bummed out. This is the email I just received. Guess I'm not a very good friend. I don't even know who died!?!?

Eubank
Funeral Home & Cremation Services

For this unprecedented event, we offer our deepest prayers of condolence and invite to you to be present at the
celebration of your friends life service on Thursday, January 17, 2014 that will take place at Eubank
Funeral Home at 11:00 a.m.

Please find invitation and more detailed information about the farewell ceremony here .

Best wishes and prayers,

Funeral home receptionist,
Robert Bradley

Copyright 2014 Funeral Home Website Design By: Frazer Consultants LLC

Nothing like getting an invite to your own funeral...LOL....straight out of the pages of Tom Sawyer...LOL...;)