The common sense thread

[HB Vic]

Could be boating related, could be anything Mr or Mrs or Miss Captain Obvious just hasn't quite figured out yet. Maybe this thread will help them :D

I'll start:

Don't jump off your jet ski on a busy day or when you know there's traffic behind you 😳

[28eliminator]

If it wasn't for lack of common sense, boating forums would be boring :D


Sent from somewhere on the water

[314joey]

The obvious, "don't drink and drive" drink and get a DD

[Sharp shooter]

The obvious, "don't drink and drive" drink and get a DD

Have your shit in order when you back down the ramp. Nothing worse than having to sit waiting for the idiots who should've loaded and prepped their boat in the staging lane.

[GRADS]

Don't say that having your wife post on a forum is like having your Mom take you to school.:grumble

[28eliminator]

Don't head north on the 15 right now out of San Diego...

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/11/28/agydumad.jpg

I feel bad, we're heading south :D


Sent from somewhere on the water

[SBS933]

Don't ask if anyone put the plug in 10 miles out on the water.

[hpboats83]

Don't pull your kids on a tube outside of copper canyon, especially a major holiday weekend

Uncensored sections and boating forums go really well together

Sent from my DROID RAZR HD using Tapatalk

[Paul65K]

I've been trying to come up with something for a few hours and I got nothing.......I obviously have no common sense......but most of you already knew that :D

[Paul65K]

Here I got one for ya Paul.... Don't attempt to drive a houseboat through the channel.;)

Good one Pokey!!!...............That was one "Rookie" move for sure :badidea:

Just in case anyone missed this one; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QZpFlD3HY4

[HB Vic]

How about if all the boats on the dock are facing down river don't try parking upriver :D

[ChumpChange]

I got nothin'.

[Stainless]

Common sense isn't common...


Bench race driver of the NHRA 16X Castrol GTX Mustang

[Napanutt]

If you're not driving any faster then prevailing traffic, even though you're car pooling, STAY TO THE RIGHT! Pisses me the fuck off.
Me and the wife are fortunate enough to be able to commute together and use carpool lane for most of our 30 mile drive each way every day. Kind of a challenge for me, but nerve racking for the wife, trying to get around 62 MPH driving dicks in the Carpool lane.

[SBS933]

Or the jackasses going down the 15 thinking it's a race. I'm glad my kid aint on one of those crotch rockets, i couldn't afford the million dollar insurance policy. Which every little punk that rides like that should take out for their parents. OUT

[ChumpChange]

Or the jackasses going down the 15 thinking it's a race. I'm glad my kid aint on one of those crotch rockets, i couldn't afford the million dollar insurance policy. Which every little punk that rides like that should take out for their parents. OUT

I resembled that remark!

[Napanutt]

Or the jackasses going down the 15 thinking it's a race. I'm glad my kid aint on one of those crotch rockets, i couldn't afford the million dollar insurance policy. Which every little punk that rides like that should take out for their parents. OUT

Isn't that similar to the insurance for the big cats? You can afford the boat but not the insurance? :hmm

[ChumpChange]

Don't eat yellow snow.

[hpboats83]

Don't pee into the wind

[nowski]

1st time on the water for the season always go up river 1st. If there are any problems you can always float back to your starting point / boat ramp. No problems, let the season begin!!!

[westair]

Drive your boat on the right side of the lake or river just like you would do on the road.

[Eli]

Don't drink and stand in a moving RV :D




Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Zander]

Always leave your seat on the bus/train to an elder.

Always trim out so that you get the maximum rooster :D


Sent from me Tapatalk (http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1)

[Eli]

Always trim out so that you get the maximum rooster :D


Sent from me Tapatalk (http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1)

That's great advice if you want maximum rooster :D


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[WhiteWorks]

Fat people don't get wrinkles.

[GRADS]

Never leave the dock without a glove box full of pasties.

[HB Vic]

Never talk shit about someone's boat to their face or you might get punched in your co*cksucker 👊

[ChumpChange]

Never talk shit about someone's boat to their face or you might get punched in your co*cksucker ��

Did it hurt?

[HB Vic]

Did it hurt?

Lol . .

[rivrrts429]

Don't stack BB's on a freeway

[Eli]

Don't stack BB's on a freeway

What are BBs?


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[ChumpChange]

What are BBs?


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

BlackBerry

[314joey]

Tanned fat always looks better....................lol

[314joey]

BB maybe = blue balls

[rivrrts429]

What are BBs?


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!



The things you put in a BB "gun."

Eli, you're slowing down. What happened?

[rivrrts429]

Never heard of BBs, but I know what DDs are!:biggrin:

Nice :D

How ya been PR?

[Eli]

The things you put in a BB "gun."

Eli, you're slowing down. What happened?

First of all it's great to see you here on HB!

Slowing down?? How so?


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[rivrrts429]

Hey!! I'm good!! Nice seeing you over here on HB!! Hopefully you'll come over here more often? I hope you're doing well too?!?:)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk (http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1)

I'll be over more. Kinda fun around here.

[rivrrts429]

First of all it's great to see you here on HB!

Slowing down?? How so?


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

Thanks for the welcome Eli

BB? How else would you spell the type of BB I was describing? LOL

You're usually the quickest draw.

[rivrrts429]

Very cool! I've always enjoyed your posts on rdp! Yep it's really fun over here and everyone has a lot of fun..:thumbup:

Btw, you need an avator pic? Lol

Clint will be along soon :D Thanks PR.

[Eli]

Thanks for the welcome Eli

BB? How else would you spell the type of BB I was describing? LOL

You're usually the quickest draw.

Big Boobies?


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Eli]

Very cool! I've always enjoyed your posts on rdp! Yep it's really fun over here and everyone has a lot of fun..:thumbup:

Btw, you need an avator pic? Lol


Clint will be along soon :D Thanks PR.

It is a lot of fun here! Bring on Clint!!


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[314joey]

Common sense isn't so common anymore

[HB Vic]

Look both ways before sticking your foot in your mouth :D

[SBS933]

If you run into 3 or more Assholes a day, your the asshole.

[Sharp shooter]

If you run into 3 or more Assholes a day, your the asshole.

Damn it! lol

[HB Vic]

When eating with others, try not to hasselhoff :D

[ChumpChange]

If you run into 3 or more Assholes a day, your the asshole.

I run into three or more everyday! What are the chances?!

[WMC]

When eating with others, try not to hasselhoff :D

:o



sent from WMC's phone

[Wendi]

Don't tailgate

[Wendi]

When eating with others, try not to hasselhoff :D OMG really?

[Wendi]

Don't act like a douchebag even if you really are one.

[Eli]

If you're a douchebag don't act like yourself!


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[HB Vic]

When giving advice, make sure not to use common sense.

[She's Mine]

Have your shit in order when you back down the ramp. Nothing worse than having to sit waiting for the idiots who should've loaded and prepped their boat in the staging lane.

....x2

[Menace Marine]

If you run into 3 or more Assholes a day, your the asshole.

Same goes for "haters". You don't have haters your just a dick.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk (http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1)

[314joey]

It's just as easy to be nice as it is to be mean

[HB Vic]

When signaling to turn left, don't turn right :D

[314joey]

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends nose.

[2manymustangs]

Don't eat that really good home made Lipton Onion Dip before you go out on a date with your S.O... OR Garlic hummus from Athenos...


You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends nose.

You can scratch your friends and you can scratch your balls, but............... :nutswinger:

[Eli]

Don't lie to someone about something that happened in front of her eyes! DUMB FUCK!

[SBS933]

Don't PISS on my back, and tell me it's RAINING

[2manymustangs]

Don't lie to someone about something that happened in front of her eyes! DUMB FUCK!

:yikes:

[314joey]

Don't lie to someone about something that happened in front of her eyes! DUMB FUCK!

Isn't that why we need attorneys............lol

[riverrunner1984]

Beer before Liquor, never been sicker...
Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.

[Eli]

Beer before Liquor, never been sicker...
Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.

Where does wine play into this?


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Eli]

Isn't that why we need attorneys............lol

I know right?


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[riverrunner1984]

Where does wine play into this?


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

Too much wine=headache for 12+ hours the following morning.
Rarely do I choose wine when I choose to drink but when I do, I have a tendency to drink it WAY too fast!!!

[Eli]

Too much wine=headache for 12+ hours the following morning.
Rarely do I choose wine when I choose to drink but when I do, I have a tendency to drink it WAY too fast!!!

I have that tendency with everything I drink :buddies:

[Wendi]

Too much wine=headache for 12+ hours the following morning.
Rarely do I choose wine when I choose to drink but when I do, I have a tendency to drink it WAY too fast!!!
Haha people that don't drink it often, do that and boy the next day it's suffer time.

[HB Vic]

Don't use your blow dryer while standing in the bathtub

[ChumpChange]

Don't lie to someone about something that happened in front of her eyes! DUMB FUCK!

Details please.....


Don't use your blow dryer while standing in the bathtub

For some reason, I've never had the desire to do that.......

[Eli]

Don't use your blow dryer while standing in the bathtub

Come on that's not common sense that's evolution


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Eli]

Details please.....



For some reason, I've never had the desire to do that.......

I'd love to but can't...my favorite part was when I pointed out the lie the response I got was "well there you have it"


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[HB Vic]

Don't text while driving a boat

[314joey]

A picture is worth a thousand words.....................

[Eli]

A picture is worth a thousand words.....................

So true!


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[HB Vic]

There is nothing more uncommon than common sense.

Who said that?

[ChumpChange]

There is nothing more uncommon than common sense.

Who said that?

Homer Simpson.

[HB Vic]

Homer Simpson.

Close, Franklin Loyd Wright :D

[ChumpChange]

I'd love to but can't...my favorite part was when I pointed out the lie the response I got was "well there you have it"

Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

I was under the impression the story was about you. :D

[SBS933]

Walk Softly and Carry a Big Stick -------- Buford Pusser Hahahahaha

[Eli]

Don't take the pot of chicken soup to your bedroom...it belongs in the frig!


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Eli]

Walk Softly and Carry a Big Stick -------- Buford Pusser Hahahahaha

Don't mess with someone carrying a big stick


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[SBS933]

Don't mess with someone carrying a big stick


Sent from my Bat Cave!!! Coming from a Chick that probably carries a Baseball Bat.

[Eli]

Coming from a Chick that probably carries a Baseball Bat.

I like to use my knee...the feeling of the impact of crushing someones groin against my flesh is...well you know...rewarding :D


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[SBS933]

Smashing balls. CLASSIC Haha it works real well. Stay away from me. :speechless-smiley-0

[Eli]

When you're taking down a hot guys number for your girlfriend GET THE FREAKING NUMBER RIGHT!


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Eli]

Smashing balls. CLASSIC Haha it works real well. Stay away from me. :speechless-smiley-0

Only when it's well earned. You have nothing to worry about.


Don't lie to the ball smasher lol


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[SBS933]

Aint never had it happen, but Goddamn it don't sound fun. Carry on.

[Eli]

Aint never had it happen, but Goddamn it don't sound fun. Carry on.

When I was 8 and my cousin was 3 he took my basketball. He was already bigger than me in size. I asked him for my ball back and he said no, so I kicked him and he went down for a 10 count. I was so impressed by my strength. Then he started crying very hard and my dad came in the room and asked what happened so I told him the truth. Dad asks where I kicked him and my cousin points to his boy parts. Let's say I had a long lecture on how I could've "killed" him. That's not the lesson I learned that day ;)


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[314joey]

That button should only be pushed as a matter of last resort, if you've never experience it you don't understand, never by a woman like that, but one time playing slow-pitch softball 25 years ago, I was in left field and yup, you know what happened, center fielder and I both went and both called for the ball and after the collision I felt like I lost my whole package, had to take a week off from work it swelled up so back, so use it if you must, but only as a last resort, story over,...........................I'm all healed up now, good thing I had my two kids already...............lol

[SBS933]

Eli, I bet at the time, he wished you did kill him. :fighting:

[Eli]

Eli, I bet at the time, he wished you did kill him. :fighting:

Who wished I kicked him?

Btw 30 years later my cousin still doesn't mess with me! ;)


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Eli]

When you have an offline conversation with someone DON'T share the information online no matter how trivial you think it is.


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[314joey]

Duh !!!!!!!!

[Eli]

Don't "fake" pose for pictures even when people say "I'm not gonna post it"


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[riverrunner1984]

Bring fuckn food when ur stayn at a hotel . My chick won't stop with the " I'm so hungry"

[Eli]

Bring Bloody Mary's when you're staying in a hotel


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[nowski]

It's bad when everyone makes you look bad. It's worse when you make yourself look bad...

[Eli]

It's bad when everyone makes you look bad. It's worse when you make yourself look bad...

That's a loaded one...


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Paul65K]

It's bad when everyone makes you look bad. It's worse when you make yourself look bad...
Damn.....it must be catastrophic when you qualify as both?? :yikes:

[nowski]

You know what I mean because I know what I mean, you know what I mean...

[Eli]

You know what I mean because I know what I mean, you know what I mean...

I know I made an ass of myself ;)


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[nowski]

If you don't think a name exists it probably does... I'd like to make a dinner reservation. How many are in your party? 2 What is your name. My name is Michael Hunt but I go by Mike. How do you pronounce your name. Just sound it out. Mike Hunt. Is there a Mrs.? Yes there is. We'll call you when your table is ready. Dinner reservation for Mr. & Mrs. Mike Hunt, dinner reservation for Mr. & Mrs. Mike Hunt Your table is ready.

[Eli]

If you're gonna repeatedly use someone's name in a text, spell the name correctly!


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[314joey]

If you're going to smoke, talk on the phone and put eye make up on while driving, all at the same time, pull over

[Eli]

If you're going to smoke, talk on the phone and put eye make up on while driving, all at the same time, pull over

If you're gonna do stuff while driving you can't pull over ;)


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Eli]

If you're doing something you consider a "business" leave your emotions at the door. Don't let your feelings dictate your finances!

[HB Vic]

If you're doing something you consider a "business" leave your emotions at the door. Don't let your feelings dictate your finances!

Ouch lol

[28eliminator]

Don't loose your cool with a hotel security guard after drinking with the HB crew.


Sent from somewhere on the water

[Eli]

Don't loose your cool with a hotel security guard after drinking with the HB crew.


Sent from somewhere on the water

Oh good your arraignment is over :)


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Eli]

When you tell Grads "you're not gonna post this on HB are you?" he thinks its a statement not a request.

Don't let Grads take any pictures you don't want posted on HB

[ptc]

Put your pants on BEFORE your shoes..... even short pants!

[Eli]

Put your pants on BEFORE your shoes..... even short pants!

We need to remind someone of that?


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[ptc]

We need to remind someone of that?



After this past weekends frivolties ... its seems so!

[ChumpChange]

Put your pants on BEFORE your shoes..... even short pants!

I put my shoes on before my pants. At least my suits. Not for normal wear as my shoes are in the garage.

[HB Vic]

Never drunk call a limo full of drunks, you might get your feelings hurt :D

[Unforgiven]

Never drunk call a limo full of drunks, you might get your feelings hurt :D

I'm sure he won't do that again....just saying....

[Eli]

I'm sure he won't do that again....just saying....

Don't text someone telling them you permanently banned them from your site when they probably wouldn't have noticed anyway…or cared…just saying...

[314joey]

Don't do things around people with camera/phones that you'll be freaked about the next day.

[Eli]

Don't do things around people with camera/phones that you'll be freaked about the next day.

Well it's a little late for this one!


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[314joey]

Well it's a little late for this one!


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

Don't give friends helpful suggestions a day to late..........................sorry.

[Eli]

Don't give friends helpful suggestions a day to late..........................sorry.

Don't offer to party with the Batshit Crazy Chick ;)


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[nowski]

Nice Guy's always finish last. Just ask any Woman with that Satisfied look on her face...

[Eli]

You're not considered "getting divorced" until your wife has been informed of your plans.

[ptc]

Never drunk call a limo full of drunks, you might get your feelings hurt :D

Hey Vic is there a way to put voice memos up on the board???? drunk calls are hilarious!!!!!!

I can see a new section already!

[SBS933]

Don't fish off the company dock.

[Eli]

Don't fish off the company dock.

I've been trying to figure out what that means for almost an hour…usually I can make sense of these common sense comments…

is it…don't sleep with the bosses wife/daughter/mother???

[Bobby V]

I've been trying to figure out what that means for almost an hour…usually I can make sense of these common sense comments…

is it…don't sleep with the bosses wife/daughter/mother???

It means don't get involved with any of your co-workers.

[Eli]

It means don't get involved with any of your co-workers.

Oh duh…that is common sense. So common in my opinion, it was too obvious to think of. lol

I did date my boss once when I was 22…he was 23. Didn't go very well.

[ptc]

I've been trying to figure out what that means for almost an hour…usually I can make sense of these common sense comments…

is it…don't sleep with the bosses wife/daughter/mother???

It means dont shit where you eat!

[Eli]

It means dont shit where you eat!

Then why not say "don't shit where you eat?"


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Eli]

Use commonly known phrases in lieu of new fancy ones i.e. Don't shit where you eat vs. Don't fish on your boss' dock. :D


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Bobby V]

Use commonly known phrases in lieu of new fancy ones i.e. Don't shit where you eat vs. Don't fish on your boss' dock. :D


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

Its don't fish from the COMPANY dock. :captain:

[Eli]

Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answers to


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Sharp shooter]

It means don't get involved with any of your co-workers.

I have zero regrets hooking up with chicks at work and even met my wife there. Jus sayin. :boobeyes:

[SBS933]

Sharpshooter succeeded and Eli failed off the dock HHMMMMMMM :stir:

[Eli]

Sharpshooter succeeded and Eli failed off the dock HHMMMMMMM :stir:

I didn't fail, I was 22.


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[SBS933]

I didn't fail, I was 22.


Sent from my Bat Cave!!! Damn that lets me off the hook ,for a lotta shit then. At what age do you start failing ?

[Sharp shooter]

I started nailing chicks at work starting with my first job at 17 years old. Kept with the same program until I got married at 37. The airport was like a night club for me. lol

[Eli]

Damn that lets me off the hook ,for a lotta shit then. At what age do you start failing ?

Depends on what you're doing...dating at 22...that's a no brainer. It had to end at some point. So, it fizzled.



Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[SBS933]

Depends on what you're doing...dating at 22...that's a no brainer. It had to end at some point. So, it fizzled.



Sent from my Bat Cave!!! Yep, good Deal

[Eli]

Things you read on the internet, specially a website that revolves around jokes, are NOT ALWAYS true. Give a girl some credit sheesh!

[314joey]

Don't fly back to Missouri in the winter....................it's friggin' cold..................lol

[Eli]

Don't fly back to Missouri in the winter....................it's friggin' cold..................lol

You forgot, "in shorts"

[314joey]

You forgot, "in shorts"

Yea, and if you do, don't wear shorts.....brrrrrrr.

[Eli]

Don't bite off more than you can chew

[HB Vic]

If you play with fire, you'll get burned.

[Eli]

If you play with fire, you'll get burned.

;)


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[SBS933]

Don't go to bed with an itcy ass, You'll wake up with smelly fingers.. DUH

[Eli]

Don't be a hypocrite.

Don't ask someone to treat you different than you treat them.


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[ChumpChange]

Damn that lets me off the hook ,for a lotta shit then. At what age do you start failing ?

hahahaha

[Eli]

If you're gonna get a girl's name tattooed on your body, spell her name correctly.

[Eli]

Napoleon Complex does not apply to a man who is 6'3". Unless he is in the NBA.

Sent from my Bat Cave!!!

[Paul65K]

Napoleon Complex does not apply to a man who is 6'3"


Sent from my Bat Cave!!!
It does if he plays in the NBA :D

[SBS933]

When you finally pull your head out of your ass, take a shower before you go outside.

[Eli]

Don't go to bed with an itcy ass, You'll wake up with smelly fingers.. DUH


When you finally pull your head out of your ass, take a shower before you go outside.

What's with the ass theme? ;)

[HB Vic]

Never piss in to the wind, unless you're in the middle of a tornado, then it doesn't matter :D

[Eli]

If you cannot drive faster than 45 mph then get off the freeway.

[SBS933]

What's with the ass theme? ;) If your gonna flash your tits at the river, make sure your family isn't eating at the Roadrunner. Better ? :eh:

[Eli]

If your gonna flash your tits at the river, make sure your family isn't eating at the Roadrunner. Better ? :eh:

Wow, that's a good one! Precisely why I never let my family go to the river or the lake! ;)

[Eli]

If you're gonna ask someone to pity flash the bartender, first make sure he doesn't own the yacht!

[Eli]

Kissing your subordinates and grabbing their ass is sexual harassment!


If you need someone to tell you that, you're too dumb to be their supervisor :D


Sent from my Bat Cave

[Eli]

Referring to an attorney as an "ambulance chaser" is a derogatory statement.

[Eli]

Not everyone works in an office.

Not everyone is always in their office when checking texts.

[She's Mine]

The "Blinker" means I'm coming over whether you like it or not, Fool!

You're supposed to park between the white lines in a parking stall, not on them, across them, or over them! Get it straight, Fool.


Sent from my POS iPhone using the awesome app Tapatalk (http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1)

[Eli]

The "Blinker" means I'm coming over whether you like it or not, Fool!

You're supposed to park between the white lines in a parking stall, not on them, across them, or over them! Get it straight, Fool.


Sent from my POS iPhone using the awesome app Tapatalk (http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1)

ROTFLMAO


Sent from my Bat Cave

[HB Vic]

If it looks like shit, smells like shit, feels like shit, and tastes like this, it probably is shit :D

[Eli]

If it looks like shit, smells like shit, feels like shit, and tastes like this, it probably is shit :D

Amen!


Sent from my Bat Cave

[Slacker]

Always smoke in bed, run with sissors and drive carelessly.

[Slacker]

Oh Yeah,,,,No Wake means No Wake Dum Ass,,,,,,,,,:speechless-smiley-0

[Eli]

Always smoke in bed, run with sissors and drive carelessly.

You mean sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching?


Sent from my Bat Cave

[Eli]

When I'm holding my niece and I say, "It smells like shit" why do my mom and sister ALWAYS ask me "Did she poop?" IT SURE WASN'T ME!

[thatguy]

If you run into 3 or more Assholes a day, your the asshole.

Rubbish, that is an absolute lie started by "the league of assholes".

Or as a wise man once said :

http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s170/thomasljr/Funnies/assholes.jpg

[thatguy]

Know what I mean?

[Eli]

Know what I mean?

Never lol


Sent from my Bat Cave

[SBS933]

When throwing a Superbowl Party, don't tell everyone to bring shotguns and hold a Skeet shooting competition at Halftime.